You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We were destined to go to rehab together
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
