i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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