i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
