I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
