i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I need to calm my uterus...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
