Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
