Too much gin, very little bucket
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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