Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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