Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
