I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
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smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have already put on my inside pants.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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