Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
