He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
