Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
