Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Blood and glitter go together right?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
