Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
