Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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