We're facebook friends in real life
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bring me that man meat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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