i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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