My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
