i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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