eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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