so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
