Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
