We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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