I heard we made out
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize