Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
