i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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