Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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