The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
