i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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