dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
