I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
