Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
