I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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