I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
