Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
