god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
