You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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