He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
