She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
