So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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