well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
