what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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