Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
