it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
