I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
