I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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