He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
