She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You can't special order awesome
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
