every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You smell like a Billy Joel song
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.