His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize