someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You did what with his pubic hair?
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