well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
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two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
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It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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