she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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