i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
