for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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