We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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