I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
