I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
