I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
