My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize