what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
